Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Joys of a Myelogram

A Myelogram, for anyone who doesn't know is:

Myelogram - an ancient torture device brought back to the 21st century to make us appreciate that torture is illegal (unless you happen to find Gitmo).

Actually, it's a test to check spinal blockage by injecting dye into your spine and then taking pictures of it. I got to do this yesterday. The doctor was kinda cute, used a tiny needle and was kind. He could afford to be kind because he had Nurse Ratchet (sp? It's Ratched, I just looked it up) to do the dirty work. She was very pretty, had a sweet little voice, and was the master of pain, well, not so much pain, I guess. I'll let you be the judge.

The doctor injected the dye and left the room, and with her sweet little voice, Nurse Ratchet said, "Ms. Causey, I need you to make three 360 degree turns on this "bed" (it was a platform about three feet wide) so the dye can get sloshed around. If I had known then what I know now, I would have said, "Just stick a chopstick in there and stir it around." Ahh, hindsight.

Now if anyone out there knows me (my daughter, my sister, my niece), you know that I get dizzy at the drop of the proverbial hat. People, it was the last time I walked alone yesterday. I slept with a wet towel pressed to my forehead. I don't know why that helps. Don't misunderstand me, I can lie in the bed all day with the best of them, playing games on my computer, watching TV, eating whatever Jimmy brings me, BUT I couldn't play games, watch TV, or eat! Everything made me dizzy. I STILL can't watch TV or play games. What the hell is that about? Yesterday I couldn't even stand to have Jimmy in the room. The only sound I could really tolerate was (get ready to impressed) a video of Pavarotti singing "Nessum Dorma". I tried a Neil Diamond and a Kid Rock, but no. The only reason I needed some noise in the room is because Maggy, our spoiled brat poodle who sleeps in my room during the day, breathes louder than Jimmy and I put together!

In closing, I don't stay in bed all day very often. Just when things refuse to work correctly.

1 comment:

meremere said...

That sounds horrible. Isn't it sad that cute doctors don't really matter in the grand scheme. My gum surgeon is not hard on the eyes and I still don't want to do the surgery!!